In this

A blog I am writing on Blogger.com at 3:54 p.m. on Sunday, Feb. 17, 2008, I, Natalie Gauthier am going to write [[or type rather]] all the things I think about important people in my life.

First I will start with the boyfriend, Alexander Lee Kidder.

Alexx: I love you more than words can describe. I don't care what others think, I know how much you mean to me. That's why it bothers me so much that you just DON'T CARE. Your smart and if you just tried you could have a very successful future. But you don't, your working at a dead end job that doesn't pay enough and you give little to no thought about your future. It's as if your soul has shrivled up and died inside of you. After your friends left it's like you did too. Your living, but not really. It kills me that you don't care. That your not going to college or even going to graduate high school. I feel like I'm dating a dead beat and I HATE that. I can't leave you because I fear what will happen to you if I do. You say I'm all you have left and it scares me that you mean it. I love you, I don't wnat to see you fail and if you keep acting the way you are that's what's going to happen. What happens when your mom kicks you out? You can't live in the jeep, but the sad thing is, that's where you will live once that time comes. You have to care eventually. If you don't give a damn about yourself, how can you give a damn about me? Or anything or anyone else. I want you to care about yourself as much I care about you. I hate that you won't. I think you need to grow up and face reality. You can't live in a shack in your moms backyard forever. You can't work at McDonalds your whole life. You know I won't stay with you if that happens. Not because I don't love you, but because I do have a future I'm pursuing...and if you don't get moving, you won't be part of it. Isn't that scary?

Next is Laura Gabrielle Saucier.

Laura: You are my best friend and I love you, but sometimes you drive me crazy. All year we've been close and I've never gotten mad at you. Until recently. I feel that you've lost all understanding of me and the world around you. Your living in your own head and it's as if - if people don't think exactly like you, you won't get anything. People aren't all the same, and they certainly aren't all like you. People think differently and it's like you don't understand that. People make their own decisions and sometimes they don't make sense to others. That doesn't make them stupid. I hate that you keep siding with Shelby, that your getting closer to her, I feel like your replacing me with her. And that's partly why I hate her. What she did to me and Alexx was wrong, but somehow you still manage to blame him for her actions. That's not fair. I feel that your trying to blame Alexx for the choices your sister made. I have my own thoughts and opinions and I am going to stand up for whomever I believe and the fact that you try to change my mind kills me and I just want to smack you. You've been getting annoyed at the world lately and taking it out on me and everyone else. You take everything I say and twist it and make it mean and horrible. You used to listen to me and not judge, now you tell me I'm whining and being stupid. What happened to Flooble? I feel that your changing somehow - and I don't like it.

Next is Shelby Nicole Fogleman.

Shelby: We used to be best friends, we used to be close. We talked about everything and listened to each others problems. Then you took our friendship and smashed it. You used things I told you - things I trusted you with - and used them against me. You took something that made me teuly happy, and tried to destroy it. You called me horrible things and spread lies about me...I was always there for you. I never told your secrets or used them against you. I joked about them and probably made you feel bad and for that I am sorry, but what you did to me and Alexx is unforgivable. You were a bad friend and you hurt people constantly. Your rude and mean and dishonest. And yet you try to call me a bad person? I was nothing but good to you. I helped you when you needed it, bought you things you didn't appreciate and gave advice when you asked for it. And all you did in return was hurt me. I am not going back into that ever again. I tried once after you wrote that thing about me and it didn't work. I'm finished now. I was never allowed to get mad at you but you could hate me all you wanted. It wasn't fair. We are no longer friends and I wish you could see that I hate you and just leave me alone. And you know what? Even through all that I stood up for you. I gave up our shot at Nationals because I didn't think it was fair to replace you because you can't afford to go. Yeah, I guess I am a bad person huh? Oh - by the way, Dylan WAS my date to MORP. Nick was yours...get over it.

Well, now I feel better. This didn't use up as much time as I would have liked but it feels good to vent. I wish I could tell Shelby and Laura how I feel about them, but they won't get it. I already told Alexx all this, but he doesn't care. None of it got through to him. Oh well...it's his life. I'm just part of it.

I hope Danny lets me drive to Marksville and More-o-ville...after I meditate and put on some pants. =)