Tearing Apart

I'm emo today
Bloodshot eyes and broken hearts
Splitting at the seams

This is the only place where I can truly spill my guts without fear...
Today was a BAD day...two HUGE fights. I hardly remember what this mornings was about, me not wanting to have sex I guess. But he came back for me...saw the hurt in my eyes. I faked a horrible headache...screaming and crying and breathing insanely. Wanted to take me to the hospital. No...

He slept until ten. I photoshopped, talked online...me things. Finally woke him up...thought the father was returning. Wrong. Finally gave him, gave myself to him. Didn't want to. Felt guilty.

Barbra showed up outta the blue, scared the dickens out of us. Scrambling to put on clothes. Fearing for the worst. Just a black lady, brought me candy and such. Very sweet.

Went to lunch [[he paid for once]]
Went to Wal-Mart where he upset me very much. Had the nerve to tell me it was time to grow up. Fuck him. I'm only 15 years old Mr. Almost 20. I have time to be immature and not appreciate things. I grew up faster than any child should have, so please, allow me to bask in semi-immaturity while I still have that option.

Came home, wasn't going to tell him what he said to upset me. Didn't want to start another fight. Did anyway. Told him he forced me into sex...he left. I tried to stop him, fought him to stay, blocked his way out, clung to him with all my strength.

TO BE CONTINUED